Dear Doubt…

Dear Doubt,

 

You’ve been a friend of mine for many years. We met when I was 8, which I thought was too young but you cooed me into believing that I was wrong about that and so much more.

 

You’ve krept up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder, reminding me that you were still there. I adjusted, and began to expect your presence. But little did I know that you were going to be my constant companion.

 

With every tap on the shoulder, you carved out a small part of me and replaced it with a part of you.

 

With every tap you were trying to get closer to my heart, my mind and my soul. And today, I congratulate you… You made it into my heart and mind. You’ve stolen every positive thought, every bit of self-confidence. So, I’ve learned to live with none. As a child I never would have though that my motto would be “fake it until you make it”. You caused me to disappoint my younger self. And for that I also blame myself.

 

Everywhere I walk I seem to stumble over you. Everywhere I turn, I seem to see you.

 

You’ve made it to my heart. You’ve stolen any bit of love I had for myself and replaced it with hate. You’ve been selfish, Doubt. You wanted all the love for yourself. And for this I pity you. I pity that you have felt the need to steal love from my peers wherever you go. We have had to work to rebuild what you have torn down so easily. And I’ve done this willingly, but not gladly.

 

But today, I also congratulate myself.

 

I congratulate myself because although you’ve robbed many parts of me, you haven’t made it to my soul. I congratulate myself on this because I’ve worked incredibly hard to save this central part of myself. Doubt, you are only so powerful. And over the past few years, I’ve learned this.

 

I used to believe that you were the most powerful force in my life. But you’re not. You are just a thief that poached parts of me until I felt low. You are just a thief that poached parts of my friends until they felt low.

 

Dear Doubt,

 

I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need you anymore, and neither does anyone else.

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